tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37305102011-04-21T23:10:40.360-04:00Ode 2 MaybeTotal research into figuring it all out - from my relationship with my boyfriend to finding the best remix of my life in Philadelphia after applying for life in many other places.Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.comBlogger971100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1099681247710678342004-11-05T13:58:00.000-05:002004-11-05T14:00:47.710-05:00OH What A WorldAlmost a year ago one of our youth at work had T-Cells which were in in the low 20's. Viral Load was pretty high...very mixed up kid, as most of my patients are.
Today - a year in the making, i was able to tell him that his T-cells hit 180. And that was only after two solid months of taking meds appropriatly.
Although a monkey is running our country, it is a good world. One with hope. Thats Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1099409579375596152004-11-02T10:26:00.000-05:002004-11-02T10:32:59.376-05:00In your mouth, or in the toilet assholePicture if you will, my lanky self running in the wonderful Oktober air, listening to a hidden track from britney called "Guilty"..enjoying my bobbing head all the while. At the end of my 3.5 mile run last week.....thinking about how it's so nice to run and clear out the cobwebs a little....how nice to feel,,,,,alive.
As these many thoughts flew threw my head, i noticed on my right a man who...Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1099326693923205592004-11-01T11:31:00.000-05:002004-11-01T11:31:33.923-05:00one last summer shot Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1099326014214555482004-11-01T11:04:00.000-05:002004-11-01T11:20:14.216-05:00NOTHING LIKE NYC TO REFRESH YOUR FAILING ESTEEMSo - we went to NYC for halloween night, actually in West Orange Saturday night - then into the city sunday. It was a blast, but i gotta tell ya, nyc makes me nuts for a couple days after i leave there. U see I wanted to move there, but bf and i did not concur on this locale, so we choose philly, since he wanted boston, we compromised. now i go there and see the fun it could be, and get all Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1098722663424036702004-10-25T13:26:00.001-04:002004-10-25T12:50:38.723-04:00BORINGI am not boring. I am not. I am just struggling with what to write here. There is so much to write, but so much that may fall under "too private". My bf does not really appreciate this here blog, but i think it's a good outlet to ............to what? I mean i originally wanted to tell stories about our lives together....i mean we could do that together. I dont really need my very own personal Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1098128697775317942004-10-18T15:34:00.000-04:002004-10-18T15:44:57.776-04:00Confus-ionUnsure of what to do. Unsure of what to do, so unsure.
I am a position suddenly where I feel really uncomfortable - possible opportunities, one has opened up rather suddenly, and at first I didn't give it much thought, but the more and more I think of it, the more and more I view some real positive outcomes.
I stand at a crossroad, one that I had not anticipating being at for a very very long Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1097682482033689672004-10-13T11:48:00.000-04:002004-10-13T11:48:02.033-04:00ummmm, hated the show....hated it so much that i had to run to the bedroom from the living room during the commericial to find which channel was bravo....it was so damn stupid, just like me as i had to watch the whole thing. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1097595618152091982004-10-12T11:10:00.000-04:002004-10-12T11:40:18.153-04:00MUSIC and it's Medicinal PowersI just can' t believe how theraputic music can be. I mean i can believe it, because I have gone to the church of music all my life.....
.it started with Styx and Supertramp...my parents played them continually, between toking up and arguing.
Once I became more aware of female artists and my budding disposition to all things female, by 5th grade...I was listening to Pat Benetar every chance I Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1097593065698705012004-10-12T10:57:00.000-04:002004-10-12T10:57:45.696-04:00A true outhouse....literally had a hole dug in the ground....we went horseback riding and this was the facilities...good times. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1097592948856135102004-10-12T10:55:00.000-04:002004-10-12T10:55:48.856-04:00This is a gravestone in my mom's town, I found it when I was a little boy....oddly enough my entire life I have remembered the stone, as it has my name on it. It says FATHER NATHAN R. 1868-1924. My name is Nathan R.....I am not sure how i feel about it.........it humbles me. for good. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1097507755493248902004-10-11T09:44:00.000-04:002004-10-11T11:15:55.493-04:00OUTFESTOutFest in the City of Brotherly Love was not for me this year. I was so hung over from the night before that i was almost having to throw up in the middle of the street. It has not been that way for me in a very very long time. It hurts mommy.
So..I was absent for a little while. We went on vacation to see my mother in Upstate NY. I mean really upstate, it was good fun, pictures will follow....Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1096048805160816492004-09-24T14:00:00.000-04:002004-09-24T14:00:05.160-04:00Have you ever? I mean......ever? I cannot stand how cute/sick this picture is. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1096033374236768092004-09-24T09:37:00.000-04:002004-09-24T09:42:54.236-04:00Charmed, I'm sureSo i can't shake something that i keep hearing on the tube. The idea that Busch has charm. If I have to hear one more time that he is charming, that he has charisma - I am going to .......well who knows, but seriously....what the hell is this, he is not charming at all. Compared to Clinton - he's a boring stutterbug - But i suppose the comparison is being made to Kerry? is that why people on the Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095967451893352002004-09-23T15:24:00.000-04:002004-09-23T15:51:35.636-04:00
Ok - so i am confused. I am upset. I did not like this man on the Amazing Race, not at all. And then here he is as a model, looking pouty and .......well quite frankly - pretty good. It's just confusing me. Help me out please. Help...and hurry.
In other news, I played soccer last night and hurt, my legs is screaming. I loved it though, i scored twice, and it felt good after i went a Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095876530989225662004-09-22T14:08:00.000-04:002004-09-22T14:08:50.990-04:00THANK GOD THEY LOST........YES THANK GOD !!!!! Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095876643943974042004-09-22T13:58:00.000-04:002004-09-22T14:10:43.943-04:00MUMSSo i just can't stop thinking about this show !!!! I want to be on it so badly. And i want to win it, or at least be dramatic and flip out like they all do. Actually I am shocked at how many of them are so easy going. Not me man. I would be all crazy and wacked out. Our friends say we would be "good tv". And there is no doubt in my fat head that this is true. It would be mostly fun. If not the Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095780059921058242004-09-21T11:20:00.000-04:002004-09-21T11:20:59.920-04:00THE BEST DAMN B & B in MONTREAL. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095705640862959422004-09-20T14:22:00.000-04:002004-09-20T14:40:40.863-04:00Beautiful in Washington Square ParkThere are times in life when the wind blows just right, the most perfect track is playing in your ears and the beauty is so clear it hurts your eyes.
That is what happened to me yesterday.
It was supposed to be relaxing and it was, more than i knew. Four of us got together in the park around 1pm and sat there for many hours. It was strange how well it fit. At one point, when i had begun to Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095356650441912322004-09-16T11:08:00.000-04:002004-09-16T13:47:03.723-04:00SLUMBERHow decidedly amazing is it to sleep in the cool autumn air. ?????? With the fan blowing cool air inside through our nice new sheer curtains flowing all around. It is nice I tell ya.
It would be better if I didn't keep having dreams that the funding for my job was cut and I was let go.........that would make the cool autumn night air better. It would.
Supposed to go camping and white water Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1095100983114894382004-09-13T14:15:00.000-04:002004-09-13T15:06:44.283-04:00This'll be the last time ! ?Sometimes it takes a village. Then sometimes it takes an intervention. One way or the other, self-discovery is an ugly thing..... at first, then it becomes something you can embrace. I, however am still in the initial ugliness. In an attempt to remain somewhat anonymous, I have to be cryptic.....sorry...but in an effort to enjoy my cocktails too much I have lost the meaning of stability on Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1094737547157938552004-09-09T09:01:00.000-04:002004-09-09T09:45:47.156-04:00MAN BROTHLast night blew me away, I can't tell you how much I am obsessed with Scissor Sisters. They were incredible. I also discovered their web message board and saw that Jake, the lead dude, writes in there often, which i cannot believe. They are going to sky rocket to stardom i think, that is if the American public can chill about the whole gay thing.
I can't stand how wonderful it was. HOT !!!!
Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1094650760801003862004-09-08T09:37:00.000-04:002004-09-09T08:29:16.890-04:00MAYBE NOT A GREAT DAYToday is ng. (not good)
For starters. I am wearing all black today.
How nice, minus the fact that they are three different shades of black. Shirt. Pants. Socks. All different. Because. I. Can.
It's raining out, and hot. It's a little baby drizzle of rain. The kind that makes you sweat and shizzle all over the place. I had to take the train to work today. Which means I walked a bit. In the rain.Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1094140396878140902004-09-02T11:45:00.000-04:002004-09-02T11:53:16.876-04:00SUPPORTSo....every Wednesday night my co worker and I run a support group for all of our patients, only around 10-15 come every week, a good turnout i suppose...but anyway....last night we had a really good, really great group. The focus on the group was what they thought about disclosing their status to people they have sex with.....without going into too much depth, i have to say....our youth need Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1094063315495616992004-09-01T14:06:00.000-04:002004-09-01T14:33:03.896-04:00LABOR INTENSIVEWhat to do and what to say. The weekend is fast approaching and plans are either made quickly or they slip away. Several options are available, none of which are better than the other - which ultimately makes for a difficult time all around. Not great at making decisions, not great at sticking to them either. So the time has come to decide. Stay in town and do sorta ...same stuffish stuff? or go Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1093959986099195412004-08-31T09:10:00.000-04:002004-08-31T11:10:28.346-04:00THE ACTIVIST IN ME & MISS TOXICSo I have come to view this whole election as a new process. I have always known the importance of voting and electing the leader of our country. Why then, does this election feel so different. It is ...isn't it? The mounting opposition to this pudface in office currently really isoverwhelming. In a way that makes me feel motivated to move.
To move my ass into a more political way of thinking.
AtNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1093894910841447912004-08-30T15:41:00.000-04:002004-08-30T15:41:50.840-04:00How frickin insane is this critter? Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1093893293358275112004-08-30T15:14:00.000-04:002004-08-30T15:14:53.356-04:00Envy Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1093879644660768942004-08-30T11:27:00.000-04:002004-08-30T11:27:24.660-04:00Camping Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1093879393285038032004-08-30T11:23:00.000-04:002004-08-30T11:23:13.286-04:00So this is how we look after a Polish/Ukranian wedding !!!!! Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1093874304428502692004-08-30T09:57:00.000-04:002004-08-30T12:53:32.130-04:00New StartJust trying to get myself back to basics with this blog. Its been a tough rode to get motivated to do this, as well as some grief from K about sharing our private lives online, so I have decided to revisit my purpose - like so many people do when they are blogging. I find it cleansing, but also understand K's point. So I just have to figure out what and where I want to go with this.
Our Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1086108428969060672004-06-01T12:46:00.000-04:002004-06-01T12:47:08.970-04:002318. That is the current site meter reading. Increase..IncreaseNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1086107385939395002004-06-01T12:20:00.000-04:002004-06-01T12:29:45.940-04:00Redemption
I know, what a long time in the making. It's been a while. For some reason i feel propelled to write a little snik snak. A small bit of me wants an outlet that yeilds some sort of interaction with the world at large.
Lately I have been feeling smaller than myself. Smaller than the world. and i am not sure just why. Life just keeps on truckin, making a new path each day, but each Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1072721528731811912003-12-29T13:12:00.000-05:002003-12-29T13:13:38.043-05:00back to basics and 2004
Florida has a strong contingency of hicks. I was in Florida for Christmas, did the whole Orlando and theme park thing. It was a blast. we got some tan. but more than anything, i got more than my fair share of hicks. trashy dirty hicks.
But also, to be fair, i have been to South Beach and seen more than i could handle. so anyway, we are back, we have many many pictures Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1070381317063787342003-12-02T11:08:00.000-05:002003-12-02T11:09:32.950-05:00Roxie Hart, Bile and Florida frenzy
Well the weekend went well kiddo’s. Kev’s birthday was Saturday and I threw him a little party. It was well worth it, our first real party in the new house, it felt good since we have put so much time, money, blood, sweat, and tears into that damn place.
Now we have our blowout holiday party next weekend, of which I need to get the invite’s out…UGH.
The Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1069691237668998272003-11-24T11:27:00.000-05:002003-11-24T11:27:59.576-05:00Wish for Color
I am under the weather as it comes to be. I can’t stop coughing. I feel like shit. I hate it.
Just in time for the holidays.
So this weekend we went to see Rufus Wainwright at the Tower Theatre here in Philly. Good stuff, he was really great, I mean, totally devoid of excitement, but a great performer indeed. I liked it, didn’t love it, but liked it.
Then on Saturday we went Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1068829341932299952003-11-14T12:02:00.000-05:002003-11-14T14:34:48.686-05:00DUDE
It's not that I feel suppa fly or really cool all the time. And at one point in my life i desperatly hated the way one sounded when they said "Can you pass me the salt, DUDE?" or "What time is it DUDE?" or "play with my tit DUDE".
Dude. I always hated that expression.
I say it constantly now. All the time. Every couples minutes. Help me. Send me a sign that this is not ok. Do it now. INatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1068218009267882142003-11-07T10:13:00.000-05:002003-11-07T10:13:49.093-05:00FOAMING AT THE MOUTH
I am foaming at the mouth. and it's not over a man, it's not over a drug. It's over Sarah M's new CD. I am a 15 year old girl trapped in this silly body of mine. No really, i am inTUIT. I love music lots, and this new CD Afterglow is good. without being too critical ...it's good.
thanks . agree or disagree. don't care. trust.
The reason i choose to use this phrase "Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1068142888255829592003-11-06T13:21:00.000-05:002003-11-06T13:21:46.920-05:00Contemplative Stucco
Much has changed since our last meeting:
Update.
I got 1. my license to do private practice 2. a new job 3. a new home.
Yes yes yes.
All the above happened at about the same time. Dramatic as it were. Kevin and I bought a house, gutted it ourselves and renovated it. It has been three months and it’s almost together. Not at the point where we can host parties yet. Almost Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-1057174741090209262003-07-02T15:39:00.000-04:002003-07-02T15:39:00.976-04:00Well we are going to be in NYC this weekend. We are , we are. Surprise to both of us. We weren’t planning on going to the city this weekend, but last minute our friend is letting us stay at his place…he is going away for the weekend. His place is in Hell’s Kitchen. Fun.
The reason we are going is because a lot of our softball team are going for a tournament up there, in central park. At this Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-958738142003-06-20T16:13:00.000-04:002003-06-20T16:18:35.000-04:00Rain rain rain. Fun fun fun.
Fuck you rain. Why did you eat the sun?
The olson twins are becoming way out of control. How long before you think they turn against their parents and sue them for misappropriation of money? Just curious.
So this week, we started our house hunting again. Without having settled things with the broker. So we really don’t know what and how much we can truly Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-955475172003-06-11T09:26:00.000-04:002003-06-11T09:28:19.000-04:00The saddest song I've got.
I have tried several times to write and entry but each and every time I get muffed up with too much detail or too much thought while trying to write. That is how my brain is working as of late. All boggled and boodled.
Fire Island is where I want to spend my summers as an adult. I love it there immensely. I am meant to be there.
Everything turned out for us Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-952985492003-06-04T16:17:00.000-04:002003-06-04T16:17:09.166-04:00PINES
Its not as though I forget to write here, I just sorta feel it some days and some days I don’t. Is it worth it? Yes. When I write I think it helps me to feel better and to understand myself. Not that it matters, I will never understand myself. Mostly the past two weeks. I can’t seem to get it, I cant seem to locate my inner peace. Everything pisses me off, and I am just not pleasant Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-947960002003-05-23T14:10:00.000-04:002003-05-23T14:10:09.173-04:00The Ice Is Thin, Come on Dive In
I had the most fun, yet most stressful dream last night, and of course it felt like it went on forever.
I was on Survivor. I have no idea what continent I was on, but I was on Survivor and I made it to the final three. I was like, totally talking to the cameras and hatching out my strategy. It was soooooo fun. At the same time I can recall this feeling of Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-946441532003-05-20T14:13:00.000-04:002003-05-20T14:13:25.500-04:00So I worked myself up into such a stupidly excitable mess over this party Saturday that I feel slightly embarrassed on the inside. Well I think it was a mixture of things. My mom was here visiting for the week and I had to say goodbye to her right before we went to the party. We were running very late for said party, and well to be honest I was just excited to get to the damn thing and party itNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-943380592003-05-14T13:18:00.000-04:002003-05-14T13:18:29.500-04:00I actually am not Obsessive Compulsive, but sometimes, sometimes – mommy - I feel really annoyed with my fear of the house burning. Freak.
To be sure. I am into my music deep right now. Just deep. So this guy actually makes me laugh a big fat amount. He is really really funny. Although I haven’t really pieced together his whole story, the stories are damn funny and his insight and attacking Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-943262592003-05-14T09:19:00.000-04:002003-05-14T09:49:17.000-04:00Dear friends of Ode to Maybe,
I am writing today to admit to some demons which live within me, to share with the blog community my daily struggles and battles with compulsions that I cannot withhold any longer. Each and every day I wake up and within and hour I know that I will be faced with a vice which I cannot shake. Actually not one, rather three very bad things.
They cripple me, cause meNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-942612582003-05-13T08:48:00.000-04:002004-08-30T12:38:20.786-04:00Ok so in the post from yesterday I am in the blue tank and kv, my evah loving boyfriend, is the shaved head. These pictures were from a party we went to on Saturday. We actually went to Baltimore for it. I lived there for 5 years before moving to Philly with kv. SO this party was fun and then we went to the local club in Baltimore. It was cool to get there and visit with the gals. Whenever I go Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-942140742003-05-12T13:34:00.000-04:002004-08-30T12:40:21.306-04:00Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-942136522003-05-12T13:25:00.000-04:002004-08-30T12:41:24.373-04:00Part of our "busy as shit weekend" More to follow.
Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-939441912003-05-07T15:28:00.000-04:002003-05-07T15:28:23.010-04:00Scene:
We are sitting outside of a bar during a festival. Our friend had just driven and bought a pizza from another area of the city (Lorenzo’s pizza which is held in high regard by those here in Philly), which was very nice of him. One of our acquaintances came up to us.
Characters:
Friend – nice student at U of Penn. Good looking. Easy going, family comes from money. Great Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-938729792003-05-06T13:16:00.000-04:002003-05-06T13:16:39.756-04:00Not for nothing – but I have just been reading Toddo's bloggy blog and have found myself taken back by his candor and insight. Very refreshing and interesting. Honesty as well. I shall keep reading, if nothing to gain more perspective on how he feels so at ease with his on line presence. I yearn to bare all here, but it just doesn’t work out that way. For fear of the fallout – I mean some Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-924273112003-04-11T10:02:00.000-04:002003-04-11T10:22:09.000-04:00Hypothetically: tell me what your code of ethics would promote you to do in this situation. (pretend you were a mental health professional).
A gentleman almost beat his daughter to death 6 months ago (self testimony). Recently his daughter’s friends had sex on a piece of furniture. The piece of furniture broke in half. Because he was fearful he would hurt his family in a fit of rage and angerNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-923656492003-04-10T11:43:00.000-04:002003-04-10T11:55:05.000-04:00Your Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.
I wake up this morning in a less than ideal place; my boyfriend and I are not speaking to one another, which is extremely uncomfortable as we sleep in the same bed and take showers in the same bathroom. Bad.
So as I proceed through my morning (which I sometimes have a hard time with on a normal basis – not the best person to be around in the AM) I Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-923082812003-04-09T15:13:00.000-04:002003-04-09T15:13:57.186-04:00I sat next to this woman in a meeting today who I loathe. I am still not over it, not even close to it yet. She is disgusting and I make myself sick thinking about it. She is a co-worker whom is working towards getting a license, the same as me, and we have to go through an advisement period of about 10 months. Its painfully boring and tedious. I don’t really have to see her much out side of Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-922398992003-04-08T15:41:00.000-04:002003-04-08T15:41:47.856-04:00Mother Nature is PMS ing.
Not sure about this week. It has this strange feeling, like its not actually happening. The cold weather is taking my ass over. My apparent intense appetite is consuming me, and all I want to do is call out of work every single day that I wake up.
Of course that may be because – for the first time in a long time my face broke out in some zitties. That’s right Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-921704752003-04-07T16:14:00.000-04:002003-04-07T16:14:10.293-04:00When I was in high school and elementary school -- gym class was painful during specific parts of the year.
Things like swimming, soccer, baseball, hockey those things were fine. I was actually pretty good at them, excelling at some. (I went on to be a lifeguard for 7 years, and played ice hockey for 9 )
Wrestling, cross country running, and the yearly President’s Physical Fitness test all Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-919915982003-04-04T12:05:00.000-05:002003-04-04T12:24:52.000-05:00Diesel has me hooked – like a bad run with meth. I am stupidly blind to the prices. I am stupidly blind to the absurd nature of their advertisement strategies. I can’t get over their shoes and I certainly cannot get enough of this one picture in the new diesel catalogue.
Dude is wearing a square cut trunk,,,,,,,,,and you can see the whole trunk and nothing but the damn trunk, so help me god.
Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-919287592003-04-03T13:41:00.000-05:002003-04-03T13:48:32.000-05:00 I have no idea why this is, but I have been thinking about past relationships lately and the lessons I learned from them, I mean aside from the obvious things you learn --- what things did I really get out of them – things that -- when I picked myself up from the train wreck, I walked away with in a neatly packed - portable case. I guess I am thinking about this because I really want to enhanceNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-918674962003-04-02T16:20:00.000-05:002003-04-02T16:20:19.903-05:00I have the bug.
I have the “highlites” bug. All thanks to my drool man , I am in adoration of him. Last night I think he all but admitted his gayness to everyone. Oh my oh my, what I couldn’t……
but I digress.
It’s a happy day on the ranch today, I got up early and milked the chickens and feed the hay.
Spring Induced Euphoria (SIE). I got it. And its good to me. Good to me like an Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-917916912003-04-01T15:33:00.000-05:002003-04-01T15:33:50.153-05:00I want this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-917835212003-04-01T12:55:00.000-05:002003-04-01T15:24:41.000-05:00Fool of April
The gym is starting to irritate me. I am so sick of dragging around a workout bag when i walk to work - and i am sick of the HUGE amount of time it takes out of my day. For a while I was loving it, really into it, eating right and taking lots of protein in my bod. I am still going to the gym, but not feeling the workouts like I really want and need to. It’s pretty frustrating. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-917119292003-03-31T10:27:00.000-05:002003-03-31T10:27:25.860-05:00
Overindulgent
The Dilemma’s of Cocktailing:
I like to have red wine,
without eating a dinner. Or at least that has been the trendy lately. Not too smart. Not too smart at all. I so love the way drinks taste, I so love the way they go down sooooo easily. All too easy as a matter of fact. This is not the dilemma, the ease that these drinks go down. The dilemma is the manner of my Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-914891782003-03-27T12:03:00.000-05:002003-03-27T12:03:09.826-05:00As I sit in my little anti-developmental cube here at work, I can’t seem to identify what specific turn has made this week so freakishly curved. Was it the fight my boyfriend and I have had? Was it the war? Was it our friends leaving for a new and renewed life in San Diego? Was it the cusp of spring? Or was it premenstrual cycle flip-flopping about?
Last night:
The muted Mid Eastern settingNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-914116582003-03-26T09:16:00.000-05:002003-03-26T09:16:15.966-05:00
* Getting by *
I am barely getting by right now, and I am barely getting by on many- many levels. The hardest thing for me right now is to remember that no matter what, I will always get by – no matter what, things will turn out all right and I will always end up with a halfway decent hair cut.
But seriously, did you ever get that feeling that if you took too deep a breath you would be Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-913661552003-03-25T15:45:00.000-05:002003-03-25T15:45:49.390-05:00Bonjour, comment ca va?
Well I made this fabulous cd last night and it made my morning all the more better – more better I say. I smiled most of the way to work. Spring has arrived - for how long I have no idea, but its here for now and makes me hella happy. Not to mention all the pleasantries of the Spring Induced Euphoria (SIE). My man seems to get a shot of love juice when the warm Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-912887182003-03-24T12:20:00.000-05:002003-03-24T12:20:15.576-05:00Its good,
Isn’t it grand?
Isn’t it great?
Isn’t it swell?
Isn’t it fun, isn’t it –
Nowadays.
There’s men everywhere,
Jazz everywhere,
Booze everywhere
Life everywhere,
Joy everywhere,
Nowadays.
You can like the life you’re living, you can live the life you like, you can even marry Harry but mess around with Ike,
And that’s good,
Isn’t it grand?
Isn’t great?
Isn’t it swell?
Isn’t itNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-911235032003-03-21T09:10:00.000-05:002003-03-21T09:10:23.420-05:00
So - I can’t stand having stuff to do any longer. Let me out line for you.
You see I have to take a licensing exam in order to pursue a position in which I can engage others in therapy. I have to take this test. I don’t want to, rather, I want to take the test but I want to skip the study part of it, and I do have to study. The exam is a little pricey so I have to pass it the first time Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-909908032003-03-19T09:10:00.000-05:002003-03-21T09:08:12.000-05:00I drove all night.
I swear to god, last night – in my sleep -----
I drove all night. I have no idea where I was going and what vehicle my tired tussy was in, but during my slumber last night I was pounding the pavement. I feel like ass today.
So Kv and I bought our softball gloves last night. Yes kids – we are playing softball this summer. I am also playing soccer. I think I am in over Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-909215542003-03-18T08:46:00.000-05:002003-03-18T15:46:46.000-05:00So I am trying something new. The reason for my total disappearance (after a brief blog life) was based upon my silly workplace not allowing for us to use the internet while working. Insane isn’t it? So why not play with blog at night when I get home? No time darling, no time at all. Kv gladly takes up my time during the evenings. We usually attempt to watch some TV after dinner and the gym Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-855417072002-12-05T11:01:00.000-05:002002-12-05T11:01:53.906-05:00OH BY THE BY - My Blogger is biffed up. I have to change the template - what a task.
Thanks for standing by and reading even though it looks like ass............Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-855415332002-12-05T10:58:00.000-05:002002-12-05T10:58:21.590-05:00Somethings gone South.
Sorry for having been so remiss and not writting for a week or two, I have been a busy little bee. Honest, not to mention the week of Thanksgiving turned out to be one big party week and weekend. Kev and I had the best time together. We ate like hogs on T day and then went to see Phantom of the Opera on his Birthday, the touring company is here in philly. It was pretty Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-850563412002-11-25T10:11:00.000-05:002003-03-19T09:13:57.000-05:00Soopa Fly
I can now talk about it. Saturday night i threw a surprise party for Kv. His birthday is this week and it worked. He was surprised and had no idea. it was soooo frickin cool, he actually started to tear up when we got to the party. damn, what a rush. He got mucho presents and some really cool shit too.
We actually had a really really hardcore party weekend. We stayed up way too late Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-849253842002-11-22T10:04:00.000-05:002002-11-22T10:04:42.876-05:00on another note you have to check out dear old SoBlo's latest entry. its hard and fast and reads like a powerful and moving book. His detailing of his first relationship floored me as i read it today. no doubt - that entry had to be tough to get through.
I have a friend who went through a similar thing. it has taken my friend a good 5 years to be able to love again. resiliency and a good Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-849236562002-11-22T09:19:00.000-05:002002-11-22T09:42:59.000-05:00Duct Tape and Cufflinks
I did it. i finally broke down and committed the one thing i always said i never would do. i have lived in urban dwellings for sometime now and am always confronted with homeless people and their various inadequacies of life. Baltimore was throbbing with bums, many many of them, always asking for money, always wearing new NIKE. fuck off. get a job. mind you i was alsoNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-848744822002-11-21T11:04:00.000-05:002002-11-21T13:32:42.000-05:00Ambien
To sleep. It helps you know. Ambien does. In case you were wondering. and in case you need some help getting the new J Lo mix out of yo head...ambien do the trick.
Will someone please tell me how to, where to, get my pictures hosted. I can link it to snapfish, but the pictures only show up one size, HUGE - as you can tell - i want to have my pictures fit neatly in my blog. like manyNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-848278322002-11-20T14:11:00.000-05:002003-05-12T13:24:39.000-04:00from my best pal in DC.....an email to brighten your day.
he's so damn funny. before i go and let you read part of his email, i have to tell you about a special moment with dan. (the one who wrote the comedy email your about to read) ...here is our special moment: Dan and i were part of a group of friends who were notorious for our dramatic flair for party. Always out on weeknights and Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-848205822002-11-20T11:20:00.000-05:002002-11-20T14:32:41.000-05:00and by the way. does anyone read this? anyone? no comments ever. poor me. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-848193802002-11-20T10:56:00.000-05:002002-11-20T10:56:11.920-05:00Glitter on the keyboard
There is glitter on my keyboard. oh yes there is. i am trying to get these invitaitons together, my crafty and creative self seems to be on leave for this month. and that upsets me.
it makes me scared that i am no longer the virtual cool creative person i once was. is my conformity to my life partner taking away my ability to look and create things in a very streamline Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-847937452002-11-19T21:50:00.000-05:002002-11-19T21:50:06.440-05:00Implicit Memory
So it's been over a week since i last wrote to you my dear blogger blog. Yes a week where i have done nothing too remarkable, yet found no time to write in my journal. Alas i am back now. This past weekend was, once again, really fun and nice and wonderfully relaxing. Friday night we went out to a birthday party for our dear friends, twins, and got tore up. We had people overNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-843791902002-11-11T15:49:00.000-05:002002-11-11T15:53:48.000-05:00I also watched a show yesterday which was really remarkable on BRAVO.
I know that this show was being marketed a couple months ago, but i only caught the end of it yesterday. It's Gay Weddings. How damn interesting. It fostered some really interesting thoughts from me. None of which made much sense. I mean........i had a range of thoughts which completely confused me.
The simplist thought Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-843694172002-11-11T12:11:00.000-05:002002-11-11T12:11:43.183-05:00M O N D A Y blows
I don't like mondays.
no i don't.
don't like mondays
no.
so this weekend was mucho fun. we basically did very little and had a great time doing so. we took turns. i got drunky drunk on Friday- kv got drunk on saturday. very funny.
went to see Jackass yesterday and thought it enormously funny. what this says about me i dont' know. but i think it came at just the right time Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-842465722002-11-08T15:30:00.000-05:002002-11-08T15:30:29.403-05:00how to make an american thief
poor little beetlejuice starlet.
poor poor girl. sucks to be her.
on another note. (note?) In an attempt to round out my thought process and my internal dialogue i am going to try to include a top list of things that have made me happy each day. is that too queer? maybe it is, i may have to rethink that. but it sounds good.
sorta, but also really oprah too. oh Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-842425682002-11-08T13:56:00.000-05:002002-11-08T13:56:30.280-05:00I just spoke with a woman on the phone, she identified herself as being a blind person working for a company. she was looking for some help in locating psychiatrists. she told me her story. at one point in the conversationg i said to her "uh huh, i see".
reminder: i said this to a blind person.
gin and tonic. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-842421982002-11-08T13:48:00.000-05:002002-11-08T13:48:56.336-05:00Leisl and Rolf
I got a free ticket from my glam friend denise last night to go see the Sound Of Music at the Walnut Street Theatre. It was mediocre. the captain von trapp was terrible and maria..........well maria just wasn't miss julie andrews and who can follow that performance up? despite the fact that i was less than thrilled by the lead characters - i got goosebumps periodically Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-841732912002-11-07T09:51:00.000-05:002002-11-07T15:59:01.000-05:00HE RUBS IT ON HIS SKIN
THIS is the best stuff. i used it this morning and am feeling quite smitten with myself today. Origins is just good.
Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-841698192002-11-07T08:19:00.000-05:002002-11-07T09:36:01.000-05:00
Empathic or pathetic?
So two things for the morning thoughts.
First -
Ginkgo trees and the little balls of shit that fall from them suck. I mean I am totally sure there is some ecological reason for planting ginkgo trees and am sure they politely and appropriately pollinate and provide food for birds - but holy shit - they smell so bad - i almost want to puke.
Here's my quandary. I walk Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-841338952002-11-06T15:58:00.000-05:002002-11-06T15:58:13.313-05:00and another thing.........
my site meter indicates one person has looked at my site, that would be me.
Yo - step back - i'm too coolNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-841165272002-11-06T09:25:00.000-05:002002-11-06T09:29:19.000-05:00Back from the country side and back to work. I have to say .........work just sucks. I can't focus on all that negative shit though, it's just not worth it today. Tomorrow maybe, but today no sir ma'am.
Virginia was nice, we went on a totally great ride up and then down a little mountain, froze my bullocks off, but had a good ride. Mountain biking is awesome, but I think you really have to Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-838229192002-10-31T08:47:00.000-05:002002-11-06T09:26:19.000-05:00Halloween Cab
At one point in my life Halloween was the most amazing holiday, for many reasons...,most of all was the cool weather and the promise of having Jason, Freddy, or the damn Boogeyman get me. I love to be scared, love it love it and love it more. Being scared seems to create this reaction in me which allows for me to be more aware of everything, introspection and observation become Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-837758682002-10-30T11:25:00.000-05:002002-10-30T14:45:14.000-05:00EASY SLEAZY
So I lifted this off of someone else's blog. I think it to be quite and interesting site. I mean,,,,all these men from Australia who are seemingly more homoerotic than a major motion picture release from Titan or Chi Chi LaRue.
On another note, I am totally infatuated with making a webpage soon. A real one. I am reading so many of them now... this one, and this one, and thisNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-837713882002-10-30T09:44:00.000-05:002002-11-20T15:42:36.000-05:00Well after much time off from this place, I am back to hopefully keep up with it this time. I have been reading a lot of blogs as of late and feel as though I need to start doing it.............if anything to keep my ass sane at my job. I can't tell you how much I want to find a new place to work....I just can't take talking to some annoying person on the phone anymore about their mental health Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-814012942002-09-10T08:23:00.000-04:002002-09-10T08:23:08.313-04:00So I have spent a lot of time trying to set this thing up, to make it halfway decent. Hopefully I have acheived it. A work in progress, just like any other damn thing in this world. I swear it works me out, everything takes time and patience......of which I have none. Anyway on my way to getting the weak coffee from corner "everything" store I see a woman who has become a point of interest forNatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-808215442002-08-28T09:13:00.000-04:002002-09-10T12:55:08.000-04:00Well I want to post a picture of my man, Kevin (He is on the right without the sunglasses) Hopefully this gets you to it, you may have to get a snapfish account, but it really doesn't take much effort. Give it a shot and see what happens.
Kevin and I met two years ago Memorial Day weekend 2000. We met at Rehoboth Beach, DE. We were both at a club just dancing our asses off and saw each Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-807897942002-08-27T16:03:00.000-04:002002-10-30T11:25:49.000-05:00 Circuit Music
Well as I am winding down my day long fight with Blog and figuring out how the hell to use it, I am trying to put a link here directly. So lets see if it works. I get all my cardio music from this site. Let me know what you think, what you don't think..whatever.Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-807870422002-08-27T14:55:00.000-04:002002-08-27T15:00:14.000-04:00
I am just trying to figure this whole thing out. any help anyone?????Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-807735812002-08-27T08:53:00.000-04:002002-08-28T09:21:54.000-04:00wow am i pissed, i just wrote a really nice little blog and it wouldn't post and i lost it forever. Damn that sucks to start out like that. Can't i have anything nice? Well anyway my little story was about a co worker who tried to walk out a door, smashed his face into said door as he missed the handle coming out. I commented on how fucking funny that was, how much i enjoyed laughing at him. Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3730510.post-807376372002-08-26T14:17:00.000-04:002002-08-26T14:18:00.000-04:00Paired Playor = being with my bf, the word playor just refers to my personality type.......in friendship and in love. I can't figure out the rules yet but i sure as hell plan on doing so in the next ten years or so. Honest mom, i swear.Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16016315296915548652noreply@blogger.com0